Is it compulsory for Scots people in Blackpool to wear those tartan bunnets with loads of red hair sticking out of them. They must hand them out on the coaches at the border, do they?

And how do you all know at exactly what time to come out? Blackpool during the day is full of old dears and families. Then, apparently at a signal, Harry Ramsden's and the Tower Ballroom empty and they all disappear to their guest houses. The seafront instantly fills with crowds from whatever area of Britain happens to be on holiday that week, looking like they've only just got up (which they probably have).

I've spent too long people-watching, in Blackpool, haven't I? Well, I suppose it's more entertaining than Bobby Davro on the North Pier.