I'm still alive and guess what? Its often the simplest of things that prove effective.

The winner of the solution is - Kendall, "Remove the cover. You should see two tiny pointers. If they have not been calibrated, that would account for the thing not working. They must be on different ends of the scale to work right."

Yes, it does help to calibrate the damn thing.

Anyway, it seems to be working now. I'll give it a couple of days to prove itself. The next step will be to buy a room thermometer and follow your directions, JohninKansas.

Thanks everybody, so much - and don't worry, as much monkeying as I have done, I still haven't received a shock. Maybe I'm just lucky.