I was assigned to a one-man federal office in Fresno during the late 1970's. I was still in my twenties, but I was a "local agency head." That was cool, because I had contact with people from all the federal agencies in town. I got to know the head of the Secret Service office fairly well, and I really liked him.

Secret Service agents are required to follow up on every citizen report, no matter how inconsequential. They close almost every report with no further action, but they don't leave the closing decision to the secretary who takes the initial phone call. Most of the time, they handle complaints like the one stated above in a calm, matter-of-fact matter - but their very presence puts many people into hallucinations of conspiracies and whatnot. And they have to act as though they are taking the reports seriously, no matter how silly they personally think the matter is. Afterwards, they'll sometimes boast about how serious they acted, and how hard it was to keep from laughing.

As an investigator for the Office of Personnel Management, I had to do the same thing - follow up on any thread to my agency, no matter how silly. I never came across anything but looney people who were angry because the government didn't hire them - but I had to check them out nonetheless. I tried not to waste too much time on stuff like that - although that sort of thing was sometimes a nice break from the samenesses of my regular work.

-Joe Offer-