GUEST,

There is another thread on this song, titled "Origins: do not be offended, please" - I don't know how to provide a link to it here, but if you search under that title, you'll find it.

Here is the Ezra Barhight version of the song:

Oh, do not be offended please, because I start to sing
For if I did not come out here, this curtain down they'd bring
The man who ought to sing this song, he has taken very sick
As I was standing idle, well, they grabbed me very quick

And they wanted me to take his place, and do the best I could
They said 'go out and sing his song', I told them that I would
They're standing there for to watch me now, my actions for to see
They said 'you cant get more than killed', how pleasant that would be

McKelsey & McLassy too, each match their dogs for fight
They posted $50 each and they fight on Friday night
We all went down to Harpo's Place, McKelsey's dog was there
But I could not find McLassy nor his bulldog anywhere

Then they wanted me to take his place and do the best I could
They said 'get out and win my boy, we know your pluck is good'
They tried to make me strip my coat and fight the dog you see
But I could lose my eyes, my ears, my nose, how pleasant that would be

My sister got a policy upon her husband's life
He went away & left her there to a disappointed life
She said if only he were dead, the insurance she could claim
And so she got a coffin and upon it carved his name

Then she wanted me to take his place and do the best I could
To lay out flat and be nailed up in a coffin made of wood
And when the mourners were all gone then she'd set me free
But perhaps she'd forget about me then how pleasant that would be!