Dear Mr. Van Dyke,

So sorry to hear of the accident! I understand that the guitar is what you believe to be "beyond repair".

We will take a look at it. If a repair can be reasonably accomplished we will offer an estimate and time table for repairs.

If the guitar cannot be repaired, we would be glad to replace it with as close to what you had as possible.

You may consider either not leaving your guitar out on a stand in the future, or not leaving the ottoman so close to the front door. You were bound to trip some day!

Sincerely,

Dick Boak, Martin Guitars

p.s. We have an on-going betting pool here at the custom shop that when we finally ship the guitar back to you, Laura will open the package before you do! ha ha!



Dear Wile E. Coyote,

Find enclosed your order for the following:

1. Qt. 3 Item - Exploding guitar
2. Qt. 1 Item - Fake bird-feeder/trap guitar
3. Qt. 1 Item - Collings guitar with coyote artwork in kevlar case (capable of withstanding drops from high cliffs)

If we can be of any further service to you, just give a hollar!

Acme Guitar Company



Dear Mr. Karloff,

Yes, I can understand where you might have an unpleasant association with a bolt-on neck, though I believe you may misunderstand...

...the bolts don't actually protrude from the sides of the neck -- they are between the neck and body.

Hoping you will reconsider a Taylor!

Bob Taylor, Taylor Guitars