This particular manifestation of digital communication is achieving the undesired result of increasing the relative pressure within my cranial structure so as to produce a heightened sense of physical distress typified by sensations analagous to those that would be produced if the major percussionist from a philharmonic symphony were to assume residence within said cranial structure. Perhaps it would be judicious and thoroughly appropriate if I were to partake of a generous portion of acetylsalicylic acid followed by a modicum of dihydrogen-monoxide.