OK -- if you insist...... Four nuns were out for a drive one day and, unfortunately were in a head on crash and died. Naturally they went to heaven and found themselves queuing up at the Pearly Gates. St Peter came over to the first nun over and said "I'm sure this is just a formality, sister, but I have to ask you -- and please don't be offended --- have you ever touched a man's private parts?" The nun blushed and said "Well, it was a long time ago, but I did once --accidentally, of course --- brush a man's ... member with the end of my finger". "No problem said St Peter -- just go and wash your finger in that holy water over there and in you go". He then approached the second nun and asked her the same question. "Well, Your Saintliness" she replied "I did once, long before I took holy orders, accidentally hold a man's..... virility, having been misinformed that it was a sausage". "It could happen to anyone, sister" said St Peter "Just wash your hand and go straight in". He turned back to the queue and was surprised to find the other two nuns fighting to get to the front. "Sisters, sisters" he said "What in heaven's going on here?" "Sorry your Magnificence" said the next nun, "But I just want to get some of that holy water in me mouth before she washes her arse in it!"



I'll get me coat...