Guest Shy, I don't know who you are; I didn't notice any severely shy person at the Getaway. I'm not shy so I don't relate on that level; however, I AM morbidly unable to participate in the things I love so much - the song, the sharing of songs I know so well. I can almost not bear being-looked-at, and all its accompanying traumas, and I definitely cannot bear praise. I'm no kid- this is something I should have confronted and conquered long, long ago.

So. In the meantime, what are we weird ones supposed to do? I expect that for you as well as for me, the answer lies in an acceptance of ourselves as peer to other human beings. (I must say, I've come some distance from where I was long ago when I truly felt that I had very little right to be in this world, as though I was unique in some nefarious way. Eventually it occurred to me that other people had arrived the same way as I - we all had equal rights. That helped.)

Now, the one thing I have noticed about shy and other non-coping people is that their main shield against rejection is the non-communicative face. When one's face is sealed off and almost grim, it takes a brave person to reach beyond it. Keep in mind that people WANT people around them to be comfortable and happy and when they are so obviously NOT but won't give a clue as to what the problem is, the onlooker has no way of knowing what to do, and is most likely to give it up, leaving you bereft and lonely.

So, #1: Accept that the problem is in YOU. YOU will have to take the first step toward the solution. I can promise you that other people will be receptive, especially if you are pragmatic in who you make that first tentative move to. Reach out to the person that you can tell is having a good time- that person will want to include you. Avoid the angry, critical, negative, whining person.

#2: Act AS IF. When I absolutely have to do something I'm going to act as if I wasn't nervous because when other people can't tell that you are petrified they will treat you as one of them, i.e. just normally uptight. And believe me, that will make YOU feel better.

#3: Life is short, to coin a phrase. In my case, NOT overcoming my inabilities will not shorten my life- it will only affect the richness of it. But shyness- the inability to unlock the doors, or at least a window, of your prison isolation can kill. Humankind, I think, is meant to have and requires connection to others.

#4: Have fun. Plan it. The times I am able to stay in the moment and just steep myself in the creativity around me are precious.

#5: The occasional failure to connect is temporary and it's OK. Everybody has bad moments, bad days, bad moods. Everybody is fragile, everybody on occasion wonders if there is something wrong with them. It is the human condition.

Wow. Sorry. I'll stop. But please do think in terms of what YOU can do to get out of it, rather than asking others to fix it.