For Jimmy T, and the late great Shel Silverstein:

Sometimes you dance for the money; sometimes you dance for the show;
Time was, you danced for those bach'lorette parties,
Back before you got too old.
Sometimes you danced as a sailor, and you danced as a cop, off and on;
You remember the screams, and look back in your dreams,
When you used to dance in a thong.

Fling off the thong, boy, just like you did when you danced for those darlin's
And didn't even feel the cold;
Fling off the thong, boy, just like you did before all the arthritis,
And slipped disks,   and gray hair had taken their toll.

Now, you really don't make too much money,
And you're just a small part of the show,
And those darlin's are screamin', and foldin' their dollars,
For somebody else, don't y' know;
And you feet have been hurting like crazy,
And your back gets all twisted and wrong,
In an off-Broadway line, looking way back in time,
To when you used to dance in a thong.

Fling off the thong, boy...
                                                             
                                Lyric parody by Dean Elkins, 2005.