hilda fish, you are getting a modern-day civilian version of the slap-down a whole generation of North American and European soldiers and veterans received, beginning about 1968 and in some quarters continuing to this day. Fresh out of the armed forces in 1980, I was sneered at by fellow undergraduates who told me I had "sold my soul to the military-industrial complex" because I "loved violence" (I was a medic) and "needed someone to tell me what to do".

Canadian soldiers in uniform generally don't get called "baby-killer" these days, but quite nice people will calmly write that they are a "necessary evil". There's no arguing with those people, and at some point one decides that putting up with that crap is part of what one is paid for.

It's a social truism that police officers, correctional staff and military personnel tend to socialize within their professional circle. Guess why?