1. one bag dawggie kibble / mo.
2. dog (as opposed to the "b" word)
3. about 3'
4. roughly 100#, give or take a bit of kibble
5. nope, too slow
6. mostly just keep my owner company
7. ain't very industrious at anything
8. flunked out of obedience school (twice)
9. do fractions count?
10. I'm a teetotaller
11. if I'm not supposed to show up, how can I be absent?

Hope this helps your educashun,

Freightdawg