Dear Ron,

Contrary to unsubstantiated rumour and popular belief, Mr. Offer is NOT a free, 24-hour, user-friendly, universal-access, all-purpose, Boolean operator, search engine. He IS, (and you may be assured that I have this on unimpeachable authority), an actual human being, who, it is reliably asserted by competent experts, has been observed, on occasion, in pursuit of a life.

Perhaps it would behoove us, while he is away from his desk, to endeavor to perform our own research, if only experimentally. Should we fall short in this enterprise, the experience might, at the least, have the revolutionary result of a more courteous request for assistance from Mr. Offer, upon his return. Eh?

Shula