For all of you who find this humorous, I hope you never have to hold down 90 lbs of screaming dog while a know-it-all expert insist he has hurt his leg and you know for a fact it is not his leg that is the problem. All the while I was trying to figure out how to lift him in to the car without hurting him further, what on earth to tell the vet and how to explain a broken penis to Kendall. He may act nonchalant about it now but he wasn't there.

I will of course avoid a repeat of this unfortunate event by interceding when he (Seamus) becomes too amorous. Thank you all for your attention.