I'm sorry, Bee-Dubya, for the loss of your beloved. After I read your post I felt I had to do something to mark the passing of your spatula, and this being Veterans' Day I couldn't think of anything more appropriate than a twenty-one gun salute.

So I hauled out my Enfield, dug around until I found some bullets, and went outside to fire the salute. I also took my trumpet so that I could play "Taps."

After nine or ten shots the cops showed up. I explained what I was doing, and they agreed that it was a fine and noble thing, so they joined in. I went inside and got some coffee and doughnuts, and by the time I come outside again the neighbors were helping as well. By and by someone opened a case of beer, another feller brought a grill over and pretty soon we were having one heckuva funeral salute for your beloved spatula.

All in all, several thousand rounds were fired, if you include those by Crazy Eric, who brought his rabbit gun over. I didn't get to play "Taps," but a couple of guys with bagpipes did pipe "Johnny Cope," which everyone enjoyed a lot more.

Things kinda broke up after a flight of Idaho Air Guard Warthogs fired their salute into the ground. We figured we couldn't top that, go we all did a hand salute and went on home.

Those Warthogs sure did tear the golf course out back a new one, though. Lots more holes for the golfers to chose from now....