Aw, dang. Well, here are some questions anyway. These ain't the ones I was gonna ask.

1. Why didn't Sawney Bean just open a family restaurant?

2. If Jenghis Khan rassled Attila, who'd win?

3. Whatever did Joan say to the Dauphin?

4. Didn't Ned Kelly find it hot inside that armor -- not to mention noisy?

5. When Adam dug and Eve span, who was then the gentleman?

6. Who killed Kit Marlowe? Amy Robsart? Cock Robin? Davey Moore?

7. In light of recent revelations, who was the only woman in North American that JFK did not have an affair with?

8. The Franklin Expedition was a damned good idea. Discuss.

9. Field Marshall Douglas Haig was the best general Britian ever had. True or false? And explain yourself.

10. Really now -- don't you think that Princess Victoria was one mighty foxy woman until she met Albert of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha?