I have flippin' found mine. Officer Jennifer Dana of the O.P.P. is my soulmate. This is fer life, folks. I have, like, found love and I ain't turnin' back. I never thought I would, like, fall for a cop, but Jennifer is no ordinary cop, eh? She, like, tooken a special interest in me from, like, day 1 and watched over me to, like, guide me on the strait and arrow path so's I wouldn't like end up like my bolthole of a brother and all the other idiots that useta be my friends cos all those flipheads know what to do is drink, steal, tell lies, and chase skirt. They are a flippin' case of a life that got wasted, eh? If it was not for Jennifer I would be just like them, but I have been saved, eh? I don't mean that reeligious stuff either. Jennifer ain't no bible thumper. But I am learnin' how to do things I didn't never think was possible...like...gettin' up before 10 AM fer example, and takin' out the trash. Stuff like that. I am down to only 2 beer a night! I knkow that is hard to belief, but it's true, eh? Why would I do this? Fipped if I know! It must be love, eh? It couldn't be nothin' else. Love is, like, powerful stuff, man!

- Shane