USA Military Intelligence Advisor: Mr President, I've got some good news and some bad news.

Dubya: Okay....ummm....what's the good news?

Advisor: The good news, Mr President, is that we've finally FOUND WMDs in Iraq.

Duya: AwRIGHT!!! (smacks down fist in other hand) Now we've got 'em dead to rights! I knew it! Ummm....so what's the bad news?

Advisor: They're all ours.

Dubya: You're shittin' me. No? You're not shittin' me. How the hell did the Eye-raqis get ahold of OUR WMDs? How many are there? Where are they now?

Advisor: The Iraqis don't have them sir. We do. On our aircraft carriers, in our hangars, on our airplanes and our other equipment. More WMDs than you can spit on.

(long silence)

Dubya: So, you're sayin' the WMDs are ours?

Advisor: Yessir.

Dubya: Well, what about back before we invaded? Were they ours then too?

Advisor: Yessir.

Dubya: Well...look, I don't exactly get what is the problem here. We are the good guys. They are the bad guys. We are supposed to have the WMDs aren't we? That's what this was all about.

Advisor: Yes, but we wanted to prove that the Iraqis had them, sir. So we could invade.

('nother long silence)

Dubya: I get your point. Maybe we should've given them some WMDs first, and then invaded. Then we could have found the WMDs.

Advisor: Well, we did that, sir, but it was a long time ago. It was back when Reagan was president, and all those WMDs were pretty much either used up or gone after the Gulf War when your dad kicked ass over there.

Dubya: So...you're saying President Reagan was to blame for Iraq's WMDs????

Advisor: Well, I don't know if I'd exactly say that....

Dubya: Shit! And all the time I thought he stood tall for America. I thought he was a Republican. This whole thing makes me feel sad for America and sad for our World. Who can you trust???

(deep and heartfelt silence)

Dubya: Look, I tell you what. Just...lose some of our WMDs. Misplace them, know what I mean? Then find 'em again. Then we blame the Iraqis and say it's their WMDs that got found. That oughta work. They ARE the bad guys...(I mean like the insurgents are, not the nice ones who voted for our guy.) It's the kind of thing they would do if they had half a chance. You think you can do that?

Advisor: Sounds like a plan, sir. I'll get right on it.

Dubya: Good boy. Right will triumph in the end.