It's more than context that affects the impact of words. It's the company. That's why some blacks (whoops... African Americans... none of my black friends use the term African-American, by the way) apparently use the N word amongst themselves. While I have never overheard a black person use the N word, I suspect that it may be used for humor, or attempted shock. I can't imagine anyone I know using it in my absence.

A word that still has powerful emotional impact among some blacks (but not all) is "boy." I remember vividly, standing next to a black friend of mine many years ago, and a rather arrogant white woman coming in the building and saying to him, "Boy, go and get the package out of my car." He really bristled, and I don't blame him. I was angry about it to. She could just as easily have asked me, and she certainly wouldn't have called me "boy." That's a word I try to be very, very careful not to use, because it can be very hurtful. Never mind saying that it shouldn't be hurtful. Hurt happens.

As far as situation and company, we all get a kick when my friend Frankie says, when he thinks I'm really rocking the guitar, "play that guitar, white boy!" I'm not offended because I love Frankie and I know that he loves me. And yet, I'd never say "Sing that song, black boy." That's a totally different saying which has the association of black men being considered less than men. It can summon up memories of degradation and discrimination, so as far as I'm concerned, "boy" is a MAJOR no-no.

All this said, the black community is no more homogeneous than the white community, or any community. There are some in any community who take great offense at the mildest statements, and others who are comfortable enough with themselves that they don't interpret every off-hand comment as an insult. You can see that here in Mudcat, and it usually has nothing to do with race. Some folks get all uppity if you disagree with them, and you have the choice of either trying to assure them that you meant no offense, or confronting them for being so insecure and defensive.

My rule of thumb is if it offends even one out of ten people, it's best to try to come up with some equally expressive word or phrase that isn't offensive.

I appreciate this thread, Azizi. You've said before that you don't claim to speak for the black community. Probably worth reiterating it... and also acknowledging that you are speaking about African-Americans rather than "blacks" because you are talking about a group of people with a shared heritage of slavery and prejudice in this country.

Jerry