I'm currently working closely with Muslim Australians. these issues come up, and it's interesting seeing how people interact. Some people like to shake hands, some don't, some are into the hijab, some aren't. The debate about who "should" do this or that is pushed here by the radio shock jocks - usually lecturing Muslim Australians about what they "should" do.
as with any community, there's a range of people, views and approaches. where it gets tough is people analysing each other and their motives - if someone's intention is good, but they make some social booboo, i don't focus on that but just keep connecting. and they are usually good enough to do the same with me.
it's illuminating to hear people's stories - and songs. that's where it all comes out.