I think we are into a bit of thread-drift here, but not terribly so.
I am a social worker--a pretty archtypical social worker. I recently told how impressive a candidate for a job I was, and was pretty much informed they had to finish interviewing, but I had the job. Well, I waited. And I waited. And I waited some more. Finally, I got a phone call from the woman who had wanted to hire me. She was very embarrassed, and therefore a bit indiscrete. She told me that her boss was insistent that they hire a "person of color" to the position.
Now, this was not just me going for a better position. Our agency is divesting all services and will be administrating only. This was one of the few additional adminstrative positions that opened. It would have meant I remained employed, and even more important at my age, within the government retirement system. (I am the breadwinner in our family.)
My personal interests and the well-being of my family ran smack dab into my values around social justice and the need for affirmative action. Talk about pondering. I had to go back to school and study a right smart while on that one. I am still struggling with this lesson, but ultimately have decided I need to put my money where my mouth is.
Have I been personally harmed because of affirmative action? Yes. Was I descriminated against? No. Why? I was not less valued because of stereotypical assumptions about my worth or fitness. I was an individual loser on the road to institutional change that will ultimately, I believe, benefit my community. It is a bitter pill to swallow, but one I am willing to try.