A newly married couple move in next door to a Dirty Old Man (DOM).
One day the voluptuous young wife (VYW) is in the garden, hanging up the washing, and the DOM is leaning on the fence leering at her; she is trying to ignore him.

Eventually the DOM says, "excuse me missus!"

And she says, crossly, "yes, what do you want?"

The DOM says, "I'd love to kiss your tits!"

The VYW shrieks in outrage and yells, "you dirty old git, I'm going to tell my husband what you just said and he'll come over there and kill you!"

She rushes in doors and comes back with hubby. The DOM is still leaning on the fence.

Hubby yells, "what have you been saying to my wife, you filthy old pervert?"

The DOM says, calmly, "I just said I'd love to kiss her tits, that's all."

Hubby says, "right, you're dead!"

The DOM says, "I'd give a thousand pounds to kiss her tits."

The VYW says, "a thousand pounds?"

"Yes" says the DOM.

The VYW says, "well, I suppose we could do with money ... we need a new washing machine and that second bedroom needs decorating ... I suppose it wouldn't do any harm ..."

Hubby says to the VYW, "OK, get your bra off" and to the DOM, "right, get on with it!"

The DOM begins to fondle the VYWs fine bosom, making whimpering and moaning sounds as he does so.

Hubby yells, "well, go on, kiss them then!!"

The DOM says, "can't, I haven't got any money!"