Some here who know me probably remember that when my parents divorced it was pretty messy. My mom made an uncomfortable hash of it for everyone and it took growing up and moving away from her exclusive sphere of influence to finally see what had happened. After his death I read the court papers--someone should have shaken Mom, hard, told her to let go and get on with her life. Her anger poisoned a lot of things for us. I loved my mother, but not for this.

When I saw that divorce was looming for us, I did everything I could to make it as easy on the kids as possible. A couple of years later, when discussing the difficulties of the children of friends who were divorcing, the kids said they'd gotten over our divorce "ages ago." They see their dad every day, they spend weekends with him, we have meals together, and we all get along and have been there for each other for support during medical procedures and such.

Divorce when you have children usually binds you tighter to each other than when you were married. The court dictates how things will be conducted if you can't work it out for yourselves.

I am encouraged by the many friends who have a solid and durable second relationships.

SRS