I had been dreading that moment for years! My older brother & my father were in total denial of my father's needs, yet as a former activities director in nursing homes, I knew that Daddy should not be living alone. My brother was "too busy" and I'm disabled & could not take care of him or his housework. The Drs had all suggested to him that he go to "assisted living." He needed total care-not assisted living. When Daddy was in the hospital, I spoke frankly with the social worker-who had the power to NOT allow him to go home. She spoke to the Drs & made them aware of the situation. They all worked with me to find a nursing home, inform my Daddy that "they" couldn't let him go back to living alone because "they" knew he should be where there were lots of good people to socialize with, and he wouldn't have to worry about the housework anymore because the workers would take care of it all for him. They did NOT release him from the hospital until we had an approved (by myself & the social worker) nursing home. Yes, he was angry at first, but he knew it was inevitable & after he was there, he realized that it was much easier. Living alone is hard for an elderly person-especially when you love people & are in too much pain to take care of your basic needs. He loves having people to talk to everyday all day! He has people to get him into his wheelchair & out-a herculean task otherwise. When we stop to consider the day-to-day tasks which are nearly impossible for those with limited abilities, if we care about the person we cannot allow them to be in the situation of not eating because they don't feel well enough to cook, or not taking their medication because they don't remember if they took it or they don't feel well enough to get up & get it--or to go to the drug store to get it, or the Dr. for refills. My father was in too much pain to get out of bed & get himself to the door for his meals on wheels. Placement in a care home is the loving way of seeing to our loved one's needs! Give your mother a few days to adjust, then visit as frequently as you like. You can go at different times of the day to get a good understand of the activities there so you will know what your loved one is doing. You can have a phone installed and call to chat, as well as encouraging family & friends to call, also. Encourage them to send mail, too--not just around birthday & holidays. I also make certain to thank the workers for taking care of my father-something they don't hear much. You will sleep better at night. I know have.