I have been in a period of persistent depression and anxiety for several months, now. I find it nearly impossible to concentrate on my work. I take frequent breaks to check in with the Cat, and also some other boards of personal interest. But while I am doing that, I am anxious about what I SHOULD be doing and what the consequences might be.

Despite the fact that I have my basic needs in life (and then some!) met, I am anxious about what could go wrong and what the future holds. Fire, theft, weather disaster, and anything else. I am also anxious about the future of my job, even though it is not one that is typically sent overseas or sold to another company and I get kudos from my supervisor all the time.

I have taken meds off and on, but I am very afraid of the other damage they might be doing to me, so I am not taking them now. But given my recent outlook on life, I may consider starting again. I guess it would be better than having myself dead. At least, my friends and loved ones would feel that way, I guess.

And then I get to beating myself up for my weakness of character, since I have so much that so many others do not have, and how could I be such an idiot for all this worrying?! I should be so grateful for what I have and who I am!

Nevertheless, it is VERY REAL, and I live with it every minute of every day. Why is life worth living?