There a bloke round here a while back who wrote a song called I like a packet of crisps for me lunch, snackle and snunch.......!

his genius wasn't widely appreciated, in fact I was having a wee one night in the raffle interval and the chap next to me said, if that bastard gets up and sings his packet of crisps song again, I'll kill him.....well he did sing it. and now I come to think of it, i haven't seen him for a while.