A couple of years ago in some thread Spaw made some most nasty jab at me to the effect that in a moment I would wax lyrical about the crack in my floor. So I wrote this for him:

Ode to the Crack in my Floor

"Oh there's a wide jar in my door
Although I'm in the frozen nawth
And a great crack in my floor-
And that's where I hide ol' Spawth

Ol' Spawth was tired of it all
Said his life was such a bore
He begged me away back last fall
"Plug me in the crack in your floor"

The crack in my floor, it is wide
It is long and deep, it is old
A perfect place for Spawth to hide
Amongst my flakes of solid gold

I'll dig up Ol' Spawth, crack the clay
Come spring with my shovel and more
I'll stand him up, send him away
Admire again the crack in the floor."

Winter will be over before you know it, Spaw. Get out of there.