Here's one to offend almost everyone, courtesy of my Catholic upbringing!

The stable was dimly lit, but Joseph and Mary were kneeling by the manger when the first of the Three Kings entered. He looked down in awe, quietly set down his gift of gold, and knelt to one side.

The second king entered, reverently bestowed his gift of frankincense, and knelt in the strow on the other side.

The third king, the tallest of the trio, entered the low door and slammed his head against the lintel. The force of it knocked him to his knees, spilling his gift of myrrh into the manure pile.

"Jesus CHRIST!!!!" he exclaimed in his pain.

Mary jumped up and said to Joseph, "Quick! Write that down! It's a better name than Irving!!"