Liz, "onward Christiona Soldiers" is for boiling eggs: two verses for soft and three for hard (or is it three and four?). If you're hopping from one leg to the other while you sing it, it won't work properly, as you'll speed up.

How come the human race didn't die out years ago from unsanitised fingers? And how come all those animals, who never even wash their paws occasionally, and even wash their fur with their tongues never get ill? Is it all a scam by the soap manufacturers?