Well! Let's see what ol' Buidhe can do:

Tak' me ol' galoshes
Tak' me rubbers please
I've doon wi' claenin' fur-ahins arses
It's cam up tae me knee

I'd lik tae hang oot in me wellies
In a braw and heather scent
Sae a' the bonnie lassies ken
Tha I'm a gent

I'm doon wi' brooshin' wi'ers
I'm doon wi' brooshin' ass
The anly brooshin' e'er I'll dae
Is for haughie-mandie wi' the lassies in the grass

Gie tae me a crop an bunnet
I keen for mair holy groond
I nae wha' ye ken, kis I'm weirin' pink
I'm gane tae reenge and me dug

The gaitherts doot they deserve their look
The puir are nae sae shair
They dow wint tae the carriage profeesion
Bit will aye staun knee deep in manure!

--Mbo