Santa has been putting out fires at the North Pole (trying to keep the cap from melting!) and is finally on top of the job. Elves were dispatched with your parcel, but alas, all of the reindeer were spoken for and Gluon is over playing in the Mudcat tavern (her delivery skills are untested--the parcel might be incinerated on Mars as soon as arrive on your doorstep).

The best I could do to assure that the third-string elves get it to you was to put in a directional spatula^® rudder. They have orders to NOT STOP AT ANY BARS ON THE WAY, but to keep their hands on the rudder, their eyes averted, and just head to that big island to the right of Yerp (when they're traveling south).

If they get a good headwind, they'll be there by Friday or earlier.

Loosey Goosey Super Secret Santa