I remember that a schoolmate had a sock fetish. We didn't know until one day, I guess we would have been 14 or something like that, a bunch of us were talking idly and the subject of masturbation came up. Someone cracked the usual joke, "sex is good, but it doesn't beat wanking", and this friend pipes up "yes, with a nice sock to put on your hand!".

You could have heard a pin drop.