Miserable little thing. He won't shut up. Always mouthing off and giving everyone a headache. He is as regular and redundant as a squeaky chair, but you can't oil him.

Is it his revenge on the world for having very short legs and looking like a sausage?

Is his territorial instinct overly developed?

Is he trying to drive everyone insane?

Does he imagine that he has something important to say that MUST be heard?

Is his needle skipping?

Is he an alien lifeform, bent on planetary conquest?

Is he suffering paranoid delusions?

What is it?

And how do I shut him up?

What would Mark Trail do in a situation like this?