Addendum to opening post:

I mentioned that when I'm not wearing my baseball caps they adorn my instrument cases which lean upright against the wall. I also mentioned that this practice has led to some friction among the instruments. Well, it's gotten worse.

Obviously, caps can only be worn by instruments which (A) have necks and (B) live in traditionally shaped cases. While that describes most of my instruments, I also have a Fender Strat that lives in a rectangular case, an Autoharp and a hammer dulcimer which live in cases shaped, oddly enough, like an Autoharp and a hammer dulcimer, plus a couple of bodhrans which live in round quilted bags. There is no way to stretch caps over their heads. Heck, I can't even tell which end is supposed to be the head.

Anyway, they're all demanding equal treatment and I don't know what to do. Even the stretchiest XXL knit toque won't go over he head of an 18" bodhran. Maybe I'll let them wear sport coats instead.