The excitement used to come when the telemarketers would ask for "Mr.Lyons." Now, when we married my wife kept her maiden name and "Mr. Lyons" isn't her husband but her father.

On more than one occassion I told the caller that Mr. Lyons wasn't in at the moment. Oh, when do you expect him back? --Well, he's in Washington, DC. Well then, who are you? --I'm sleeping with his daughter.

Or: "Is Mrs. Lyons there?" "No, she's in DC." "Is Mr. Lyons there?" "No, he's in DC too." "Do you expect them back soon?" "No, they don't live here."

Confusion, lovely confusion....