Mrrzy

From personal experiences, it is good to be totally truthful to your children about what is happening, openess works and is the key to understanding. That's the main things you'll have to battle with, is understanding and getting the children to work through things. My family have always worked on being totally open with each other, and as a child I was told everything that was going on - even if they hadn't I was pretty astute and would have guessed something was up.

I've seen children's books over here in the UK that have stories in them about grief, loosing someone etc to make it easier to conect the facts. But children are surprising initiative and will always guess what is going on.

In my adult life I have always apreciated the openess of my parents with me about things that have happened and they encouraged open discussion after the loss of family members. That's the key I think, to keep the memory alive for them as they get older, the remember this and that. Can you get your ex to write them letters not to be opened till later? Or get the kids and their father involved in making up scrap books of photos and stuff - this is one thing that helps memories and discussions later on.

My thoughts are with you too, as well as the kids.

Take care, I hope the above helps.

E.W.I.S