Dear Mr Drunk

I have to spring to the defence of my colleague the Rt Hon Sir JOhn from Hull, part of the extensive 'from Hull' family.

Sir JOhn needs no advice from you or anyone else about bridges. We have a fine selection of bridges here in Hull, including what once was the longest suspension bridge in the world (except people started making longer ones), the longest swing bridge in Europe (they've probably built another longer one since somewhere) and the first ferro-concrete in England (let's see them try to beat that one without the aid of a time machine). Sir JOhn is quite capable of walking off any of these or the other fine bridges in the area.

As a further point, London Bridge is out of the question, since it was sold to some dumb Americans, who have moved it to a desert.

If you have problems with my friend's life choice of fruit residue ejection, I suggest you see a fruit residue ejection therapist. There are no doubt plenty of them in your area (for some reason it seems a real growth industry around here).

Yours respectfully

Les from Hull