LOL! Indeed, Jerry. That would be a lively thread, wouldn't it? Hoo boy...

I wish to add this: My dachshund does bad things because he's greedy. Psychotically so. He thinks about food 98% of the time (when he's awake, I mean). The other 2% of his waking life is spent thinking about vital issues such as territoriality and "the pecking order". He used to think about sex too, but something's been missing from his life, alas. He will not get to pass on his genes to further generations of gluttonous little dogs.