I think it was about my first day at Junior School I heard:-

When I was a lad, as big as me dad, I used to ride a pony,
I took a stick and tickled it's p---k and made it like poloney.

Couldn't understand a horse liking poloney, they eat hay don't they?

On Joe's 'Days of old' theme, we had:-

In days of old, when knights were bold,
And women weren't invented,
They bored big holes in telegraph poles
And screwed them quite contented.

As the man said, 'You are never alone with a dirty mind!'

FC