Raptor is not the average Canadian voter. You know why? The average Canadian voter is dead. That's right. The average Canadian voter was John Lawrence McCann of Scarborough, Ontario. In his life John voted for the Liberals 15 times, the Progressive Conservatives 6 times, and the New Democrats (or CCF) 3 times. He drank Molson's and rooted for the Leafs half the time and the Canadiens the other half of the time. He went snowshoeing. He owned cars made by Ford, Chrysler, and GM. He married young and had 2 and a half kids. The world he knew is gone, man, gone forever. It was a world of mounties, royal family, lead soldiers, hockey without helmets, and wooden sleds. It was a world where a kid saved up to get a BB gun, not a Playstation. Gum cost a penny or less. You put baseball cards on your bicycle wheels and made catapults out of wooden clothespegs. You had metal animal toys that ran on the floor and shot sparks out of their mouth.

Those were the days when the Conservatives actually were Conservative. Now they are anything but.

Now here's my suggestion: Raptor, you rent a fishing hut. You and Dave the ancient mariner hole up in it for a week or so and fish and talk politics. If you're both still alive after that, we all go out and celebrate at the Chinese buffet.