And now, 'the man' is near And so I face expurgation My breath betrays me, and it's clear My state's not caused by medication
Give me a mint to hide the stench Or they'll show me to the highway But my booze is safe, for though I drink I do it slyly
Shots, I've had a few But then again, too few to mention I just took what e'er was poured And tossed them back without contention
I planned...I schemed, I plotted To get mellow, not get potted But my booze is safe, for when I drink I do it slyly
For what is a man, what has he got If not some sense, then he gets caught To drink and still remain couth If you're not Mills, DON'T DRINK VERMOUTH!* You can drink whisky, beer and wine Don't get stupid, and you'll find If brains you use, you can drink booze Just do it slyly.
(The other verses scream to be included. There's the one about 'spitt it out', about laughing and crying and having 'my fill'. They'll probably quiet down after a while but I may come back to them.)
*See the thread about Paul Mills's new CD, or ignore the reference.