Rick,

Forget about the flak jacket and football pads, you can use my goalie equipment which is getting pretty old, if we do this right, I can get new equipment out of the deal. Imagine what a national hero you would become if you were to combine my equipment with a Montreal Canadiens sweater(jersey for you Americans), go to the Molson Centre and somehow feign suicide while screaming I can't "take it anymore!!". While the nation would think that it is a statement about how sorry Les Canadiens have become, we would know that your statement was actually referring to the playing of Stompin' Tom Connors 'The Hockey Song' during breaks in the play.

This is shaping up nicely.