There are three clearly defined species of obnoxious guitar player:

1) The dickhead - Dickheads have egos approximately the size of New Hampshire. Why they join in at sessions or jams is a total mystery since it's obvious to all concerned that they would be happier playing in front of either an adoring throng or a mirror.

2) The shitbird - Like dickheads, shitbirds frquent sessions and jams. Shitbirds attempt to get the other guitarists present to play their arrangements of tunes. They can often be identified by their call, "Let me show you how I play that." An easy way to rid oneself of a shitbird is to hand him a one-dollar bill (or its equivalent in whatever your local currency may be) and say, "Gee! Thanks for the guitar lesson!"

3) The asswipe - The asswipe's principle characteristic is disdain for anyone who does not play as well as he does. Asswipes are easily identified by the attitudes of their noses, which are usually held extremely high. However, when seen in the company of a guitarist who is genuinely better than himself, the aswipe's nose is often seen in the crack of the other guitarist's ass.