I heard this last night in a singaround, set to the tune of "My Love She's But A Lassie Yet" and the chorus goes:

Oh, I'm on the Scottish Diet-o
You really ought to try it-o
I've gained four stane, and I've done it on my ain
And all I had to do was to fry it-o

Lots of references to deep-fried Mars Bars and other such delicacies. A web search reveals that Colin Campbell has recorded it, but no words anywhere. Can anyone help?