(OP)Toronto- In an act of unselfish hope, Canada's unsung hero, Rick Fielding, has been perched high above the city, in a huge tree, for the past year. In a pathetic effort to gain attention for folk music, he and the owner of the Mudcat Cafe, along with a Brit sidekick, have been broadcasting live on the Internet, every Wednesday for several weeks. No one can really understand what they are saying or playing, so most just smile, nod their heads, and encourage it as a seemingly harmless obsession.

Until now that is. Tonight tragedy struck. It seems Fielding and his cause have stirred up so much support, finally, that every member of the Canadian High Commission, along with members of Parliament, climbed their own tree in a counter-protest. Only thing is they failed to choose a big enough tree to support them all. Ambulance crews, led by the inimitable El Swanno, a mustachioed, flashingly heroic figure, are on the scene now, trying to sort out politicians from tree branches, while protesters of the Green Party, led by the elegant and righteous PeterT, picket the pols for tree murder.

All the while, the social activist members of Fielding's cadre, are passing out matchbooks, not to ignite anyone's pyre, but to make sure everyone celebrates with safe sex. The matchbooks cleverly hold one condom with instructions for proper use. On the cover of each matchbook is a picture of Fielding in his tree, with the caption, This one's the dreamer!

Now that international attention has gone to a full bore Fielding mania, the Canadian powers that be have declared every day a Rick Fileding/Folk Music day, legislating a mandatory hour of each morning and evening in which every man, woman, child, and beast is required to sing or play folk music. Fielding has been set up as the Minister of Folk and will inform all, each day, of what songs/tunes are appropriate for that day.

This reporter has it on good authority that Fielding, who has come down out of his tree to accept this new position, will be aided by a shadow government. From an unnamed source it has been discovered that members include the infamous Catspaw49, no one is sure if it really is only 49 personalities; the Mad Á Zamboni; fellow Torontian, using his real name, S. Latimer; a great big Mick who requires signatures and committments from everyone involved, and many others purported to be members of the Infinite Number Gang, associated with MudcatMax and his minions.

More reports as news happens.

END