The Royal Bank of Scotland look after all my cash
They gave me a new debit card, I thought them rather rash.
My bank then sent a letter giving me my PIN
I don't use cash dispensers so I chucked it in the bin

I now read in the papers, that we must use 'Chip & PIN'
No signing for things in the shops, my autograph's a sin.
I phoned the help-line number given by the bank
The only help I got there was to teach me how to ....

This all seemed rather sordid, as you can surely guess
I wrote a nasty letter to the old R.B.o.S.
They said they're really sorry for that mistake they made.
But how's the extra ninety quid on my phone bill to be paid?
(o.k. I could have hung up sooner, but I wanted to be sure I heard the hole message!)


CHEERS
Nigel
(Tune, if you didn't guess, My Old Man's a Dustman)