While listening to The Village (XM 15) the other night, Stan Rogers' "Northwest Passage" came on. As I sang, my sick mind began to wander once again into parody territory. I know there have been parodies using the original title, and at least one out there called "Northeast Passage." But I had just returned from my umpteenth trip out along I-90 between Chicago and Madison (and many points between), and I knew I had to write this one. I am sure that I am probably not the first, but since I'd never heard of any by this title, it was fair game. Parallel development, the folk process, call it what you will--here it is. Feel free to sing it--just credit me with the words.

NORTHWEST TOLLWAY
Music © by Stan Rogers, lyrics © by S. Andina


CH:
Ah, for one more time I must take the Northwest Tollway
To find the land Wisconsin where I'll try and press my luck.
But to my poor mind, I would much prefer the old way
And leave the Northwest Tollway to the trucks.

1.
Westward from Lake Michigan, 'tis there 'twas said to lie
A rotten stretch of roadway where excitement goes to die
Seeking easy sailing, finding just construction zones
And a long and winding line of orange cones    CH

2.
And through the I-Pass lanes I roll, a headlong westbound rush
Past those poor unlucky bastards who are paying twice as much.
Seeing Starbucks rise before me, and McDonalds sink behind
This dazed and dozy driver who is bored out of her mind    CH

3.
And suddenly before me, in the time it takes to cough
This giant stinking semi-trailer up and cuts me off.
I'm flipping him the finger for the dirt he's done to me-
(But) I'm now too far behind for him to see.   CH

4.
How then am I so different from the ones preceding me?
Like them, I left at nine a.m., and now it's half past three.
Departing from the lakefront for to heed the highway's call,
If I'm lucky, I'll make Elgin by nightfall… CH and end