So, this young boy was all embarassed because his...organ...was so small. He'd see the other guys after gym class and they were all so much bigger.

He went to his wise old grandfather and told him the problem. The grandfather knew that in only a very short time puberty would set in and Nature would fix the situations. So he told the lad to put a little bear grease on the tip every night before going to bed and in six months   it would be larger.

Six months later, the boy came back and, crying, told his grandfather that there had been no change at all. The grandfather asked him if he'd followed his instructions and the boy said that he had.

Only the kid couldn't get bear grease and had used Crisco instead.

"Oh, no!" shouted Granddad. "You didn't use Crisco!? Tell me you didn't use Crisco! Crisco is the worst thing to use, because Crisco is shortening!"