Theres a rather good laurence poem called "the ballad of the good Lord Nelson" which, with a bit of adjustment fits the "Princess Royal" tune and includes the immortal verses
"Now the blacker the berry the thicker the Juice
Think of Good Lord Nelson and avoid self abuse
For the empty sleeve was no mere excuse
Aboard the Victory, Victory O,"

" So stiff on a pillar ,with a phallic air
Nelson stylites in Trafalgar Square
Reminds the British what once they were
Aboard the Victory, Victory O,"