I would first like to pay my respects to the originator of this thread and apologise to them if they do not think these views belong on this thread. I felt they may help and that they did belong in the debate and rightly or wrongly this is where the debate is.

Until recently I have not been posting here and the healing threads and the controversy surrounding them has occurred during my absence. However the community that we prize here, was mainly formed in the events arising from the original 'healing thread', which I am happy to have been a part of and saw, as mainly a positive experience. The Mudcat willingly gave it's help then and to suggest that we deny that help to others in the future, is somewhat hypocritical and makes me a little uncomfortable.

The problem is that now, however well intentioned, the threads become a long list of people trying to say the same things in a different way, this created a strain originally and still does. The original thread also created a yardstick by which other such threads are judged. We tend not to feel happy if one healing thread receives more posts than another does and if we contributed to one and not another. The fact is that there never will be another thread quite like the first. I hope this does not sound uncaring, for that is not the intention, but there is nothing positive in feeling obligated to do something or feeling guilty if you do not.

I know the first part of this suggestion would work for I have done similar thing recently, but for less positive reasons. In the future would it be possible for anyone who wants support for a loved one, to place the details and request on a thread, asking that no posts be made to that thread but that personal messages or E Mails to be sent if someone wishes to reply. This thread could be refreshed and updated by the originator to inform us all, of the current situation.

Is that too simple a solution, or do good-hearted folk have to continue to tear themselves apart?