Dear Uncle Wilfred,

I hope you are not offended, but I think you should probably not talk to people who mess around much with barnyard animals. Barnyard animals are very nice, I'm sure, but they smell--please forgive me for being so blunt---like a barnyard. Also, (and I fear I am being terribly bold in saying this), people who s-p-e-l-l out their initials are also probably best to be avoided.

Again, I don't want to seem presumptious or bold in giving you this advise. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings.

Best Regards from your neice,

Wilhelmia